M-O-B weight loss program!

First of all let me just point out that I have not joined the mafia as the post title might suggest. Instead this is an acronym for my temporary designation as Mother of the Bride. It is a very exciting time for the whole family as the upcoming nuptial date quickly approaches and we are moving along pretty well on the to do list.

There are all the usual tasks to complete, venue, catering, flowers, music, guest list and many small details infinitum, and luckily I have a daughter that is organized, motivated and proactive, and of course beautiful and smart, that goes without saying!
So this leaves me to tackle an item on the top of MY list which is mine and mine alone to complete ~LOSE WEIGHT!

Being of a certain age, the weight has crept up on me over many months and years and I’ve probably lost and gained the same 7 pounds ten times over, but after my recent encounters with blunt, truthful sales clerks and full length mirrors with harsh fluorescent lighting, I’ve decided the need to lose that 7 pounds once again and maybe 5 more for good measure.

This of course is easier said than done. After many years of practice I know these are the five things that are required for me to lose any amount of weight:

  1. Motivation 
  2. No chocolate, candy, sweets of any kind 
  3. Drastically reduced bread intake
  4. Count Calories
  5. Add some form of cardio exercise

This one is always the hardest one for me. My weight isn’t putting my health at risk. I have clothes that fit the many incarnations of my waistline. I can still fit in an airplane seat comfortably. So what’s my motivation?  Oh, I just sounded a bit like a method actor there!
In this case it’s trying to fit in fancy dresses (which I NEVER wear) and finding that in this case, unlike an airplane seat, I don’t quite fit. Somehow most clothes manufacturers seem to think that women my age are either Beverly Hills slim or that we want to dress like our great grandmothers ( of the last century). Oh yeah, plus there was that caustic remark by one sales clerk about needing SPANKS as she gestured and nodded to my wobbly bits (a la Bridget Jones).
No sweets and slash breads:
Did I really say motivation was the hardest?! This one is pretty darn hard too. I am a breadaholic and I love my daily intake of candy. I’m partial to gummy bears, Good ‘N Plenty and any form of chocolate. I find the best method for accomplishing step 2 is to finish up all remaining candy in the pantry and then just not buy anymore. It’s the only way 😦
Bread is difficult to quit also because I love sandwiches, toast with my breakfast and rolls with my dinner. Egads, this is making me salivate just typing these sentences!  So I just don’t buy it.  No easy task, that is why I MUST have motivation in order to not replenish my cupboards with more lovely breads, cookies and candies!
Calorie Counting:
This seems like an old-fashioned mode of dieting what with all the experts telling us that carbs, fats and red meat are bad for us, but I’ve always been of the school of thought that everything in moderation. So I count calories and it works. What’s great in this day and age are all the wonderful apps that can help with calorie counting. I remember my mom using a little scale to weigh food and count calories and she also had a calorie counting book where she could look up foods and keep track.
I use an app entitled, Lose It! It’s terrific and very easy to use. You simply log in your current weight and then it asks for a goal weight. It will then give you a choice of how many pounds you hope to lose each week.
Lose It! then calculates a daily calorie amount, depending on how much you would like to lose each week and when you would like to complete your goal.  You log in your food and exercise each day and it tabulates everything for you. They even include grocery brands and restaurant foods and their calorie amounts. Every time I’ve wanted to shed a few pounds and been diligent about using the app I have lost weight!
Cardio Exercise:
Lastly I try to add some form of exercise that gives me a glow, or in more vulgar terms, SWEAT!  I stroll everyday with my muse Jasmine, but let’s be honest, she isn’t exactly Speedy Gonzales she’s more like the Poky Little Puppy.

Speedy Gonzales

So I have found that a bit of a work out on my Wii Fit or a run around the block gets the blood pumping and actually helps me shed weight a bit faster than just lowering my food intake.  It’s not an easy thing for me to accomplish because I am, and always will be, a couch potato that would much rather be indoors, reading a book, surfing the web, or watching TV.

So, for the last three weeks I have been trying very hard to follow my M-O-B, five-part weight loss program. It hasn’t been easy, and it hasn’t been quick, but slowly but surely I have been losing the weight. I still have a bit to go, and I have forsaken my moratorium on drinking coffee (because there is a limit to what I can go without!), but I think I might actually see some light at the end of the tunnel.

I can guarantee one thing, everyone better get out of my way at the wedding reception because I plan on eating like there is no tomorrow and I’m making sure I have my stretchy pants packed for the day after the wedding because I think I’m going to need them!


2 thoughts on “M-O-B weight loss program!

  1. This is very funny! Thank you for making my Monday morning start with laughter!
    I can empathise a little as I am now on a diet myself – but I’m a bit half-hearted to say the least! However I have taken up your inspiration on exercise and started jogging last week – well when I say jogging it’s more of a slightly faster than normal walk that becomes a very slow jog (for effect!) whenever I see a car passing! It sounds like your MOB plan is going well so far! Good luck with the rest of it!

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